I compete in a three day swimming competition at Harvard University each March. It’s one of only two times each year that I race. It means enough to me that I shave my body for the event. A couple of years ago, my final race was approaching and I was exhausted. I had already raced 12 times that weekend. My body was tired. Even more, my legs were exhausted. I was dehydrated even though I just pounded a bottle of yellow Gatorade.
I grabbed my cap and goggles and headed down towards the starting block to line up for my heat. On my way down, I was talking with a teammate about it being the final event and our collective level of exhaustion. He told me that he was going to swim with no expectations. Just swim the event smoothly. The sound of swimming smoothly had a distinct appeal. The event was the 200 Freestyle, perhaps one of my least favorite at the event. My friend said that by swimming with no expectations, he wouldn’t be disappointed if his time wasn’t good.
His logic appealed to me. I stepped onto the block and had a great race. There was plenty of energy in my body during the last 50 yards (those are the final two laps). During the last 50 that I felt like I was swimming on top of the water. I finished my race and checked out my time. That was when the disappointment set in. My time was five seconds slower than my seed time.
I jumped out of the pool and started cursing to myself. I shave down to race once a year. Once. And, I used this time to frolic through the water rather than do what I came here for, to race, to test myself, to see the results of my hard work. You may not think that five seconds is much time, but in swimming it’s an eternity. It’s like dead air in a podcast. Instead of finishing now, I finished (wait 5 long seconds) NOW!
This racing without expectations strategy can go shave it somewhere else.
Welcome to Swimming in the Flood; a podcast where we develop the resilient leader’s mindset by navigating difficult currents in business. My name is Trent Theroux.
Iris Murdock wrote, “Man is a creature who makes pictures of himself and then comes to resemble the picture.” I made a picture of myself having a casual race and that’s exactly what I got. Research from PsychTests.com reveals that behind the tendency to set low expectations is a debilitating fear of failure, of success, of the social consequences of success, and a generally paralyzing sense of ineptitude.
Analyzing data from 16,144 people who took their Success Likelihood Test, researchers at PsychTests paid particular attention to people who set the bar high for themselves and those who set the bar low. Aside from being significantly less ambitious individuals with low self-expectations were also:
- Afraid to fail (score of 69 vs. 33 for the high expectations group).
- Afraid of succeeding (score of 58 vs. 24 for the high expectations group).
- Concerned about the social consequences of being a success (score of 44 vs. 27 for the high expectations group).
- Likely to have low self-esteem (score of 26 vs. 69 for the high expectations group).
- Likely to have a more limited potential for success overall (score of 40 vs. 71 for the high expectations group).
In their paper, “Can it be good to set the bar high? The role of motivational regulation in moderating the link from high standards to academic well-being.” University of Rochester professor Edward Deci writes, “High standard perfectionists are likely to internalize and identify with their standards to a certain extent. They are likely to see value in the tasks that they undertake, and enjoy the challenge of mastering those tasks.”
Do you notice the difference between those with low expectations versus high expectations? The difference in perception and effort are stark. Deci identifies in his paper that “When individuals experience controlled regulation, they tend to feel that they “must”, “should”, or “have to” live up to certain expectations in order to earn some external rewards or approval, or to gain contingent self-worth. Similarly, in relation to personal standards, it is likely that people with high controlled regulation would perceive their standards to be something they “must”, “should”, or “had to” maintain or achieve.” When we focus on our outcomes the performance is statistically higher.
Deci also found that authorities can help change how people with high motivation achieve. He writes, “Our findings suggest that coaches, teachers, or counselors who work with high-standard perfectionists might usefully pay attention to how those perfectionists regulate behaviors intended to meet personal standards. For example, by providing more autonomy-support in any of those settings the authorities could decrease controlled motivation as they increase autonomous motivation. Counseling approaches such as motivational interviewing or mindfulness training can also be used to help perfectionists become less controlled in attempting to attain their standards.” Deci is showing us that quality coaches can help focus high performers to channel their perfectionist traits into more positive results.
The paper’s title questions can it be good to set the bar high? Deanna Carter asks a very similar question…..Did I shave my legs for this? I think you already know the answer.
I am now going to give you my unscientific, non-peer reviewed, resilient leader theory on setting the bar high. Are you ready? Got your pencils out? Here’s it is. Never Into The Net. You heard it. Never Into The Net.
In 2010, tennis grand slam champion, Andre Agassi, published an autobiography titled Open. The headlines at the time revealed the salacious details of his relationship with model and actress Brooke Shields and his use of hard drugs. The gossip around the book was juicy, but the lessons Andre taught in the book were sweet and meaningful.
Andre’s father was an ex-Iranian Olympic boxer who controlled his son like a tyrant. Starting at the age of three, he forced Andre into a life laser-focused on becoming a tennis star. This was done at the expense of his education as Andre graduated high school via correspondence classes when he was 26. Andre’s lack of formal education does not detract from his ability to reveal his humanity and intelligence in his book.
When Andre was seven, his father bought a tennis ball machine that would send balls over the net to his son. Hours upon hours until Andre felt like his arm would fall off, the ball kept coming. He named the machine, The Dragon. There were many things that irritated Andre’s father, but none more than when Andre would return a ball from the Dragon into the net. It would send his father into a tirade. “Never into the net, Andre! Never in the net! Louder and louder he yelled.
The concept is right. By Andre hitting the ball into the net he effectively lost the point. He lost the point because of his actions rather than forcing his opponent into a mistake. By hitting the ball into the net we remove our chance of success and any chance that luck or other forces could help.
Setting a high bar for yourself may lead to failure. So what? You failed. It won’t be the first time. It won’t be the last. By thinking Never Into The Net we have an image for striking the ball a little higher to ensure that we have a better chance of succeeding.
Isn’t that a better image than me shaving my legs at a swim meet? Ok. I can’t end on that note. By thinking Never Into The Net we are raising the bar on our expectations and, at the same time, gave your playing partner a chance to succeed as well.
Folks, thank you for listening to Swimming in the Flood. Resilient leaders face challenging currents and it is tough navigating, but with one tack or another, we can get there together.